Do you find yourself feeling unhappy with certain elements of your life and/or your career knowing that you want things to change, but not moving forwards?
Perhaps you know that you need to decide what to do next, but making that decision feels impossible. So instead, you procrastinate, you delay, and you postpone taking any action.
And as result, you stay exactly where you are, despite not liking being there.
As a coach for women, I see this a lot with the ladies that come to work with me. Often, they find they are putting off making decisions on things such as whether to go for a promotion, to put their name forwards for a new project or secondment, to start their own business, to retrain and change careers, the list goes on and on…
If this sounds familiar, and you too have been dragging your feet when it comes to deciding your next move, then stick around because I’m going to help you:
Understand why you’re stuck
Make a powerful mindset shift that will allow you to view your situation differently
Ask yourself 3 quick but powerful questions that will get you moving in the direction you want to go (if you answer them honestly!)
Sound good?
Let’s get into it!
Why am I stuck?
The best place to start is by uncovering the REAL reason you’re dilly-dallying and not making that decision you know you need to make.
That reason is: You have a big desire to make changes but an even bigger desire to not fail.
And it’s that fear of failure that’s quite literally paralysing you.
Your procrastination is a form of self-protection.
You think you are keeping yourself safe from:
Making a wrong choice and kicking yourself for it
Feeling like a fool when you try something, and it doesn’t work
The potential judgement of others if you make a mistake.
Please believe me when I tell you, you are not alone in feeling this way.
Please also believe me that you are capable of moving past this- I know because I have done it myself (you can read more about my story here and I have helped MANY other women to do the same, just like my client Helen. Helen wanted to get back into work after a period of absence due to illness but delayed deciding between what jobs to apply for, because she feared going for a job and getting rejected or worse still, getting accepted and then the job not being right for her. Helen described herself at the start of our journey as ‘Anxious and stressed with no belief in myself’. Within a few weeks, Helen had secured a new job and described herself as ‘full of confidence and passion and a belief I will succeed'. You can read more about Helen’s story here.
Mindset shift for success
To help you with this, there’s something important that I want you to wrap your head around.
Indecision IS a decision.
I’m going to say that again
Indecision IS a decision.
For every action (or inaction) there is a consequence, an outcome, and an impact.
I know you think you’re keeping yourself safe by not making a decision, but you ARE making a decision, you’re making a decision to NOT act.
This is ultimately meaning that you are choosing to:
To not be in control of your own life
To stay stuck.
To be voiceless.
To be powerless.
To ignore what matters to you.
To delay and maybe even deny yourself the chance of success.
Please don’t let this happen.
Please don’t self-sabotage yourself in this way.
How do I break free from indecision?
Here are 3 powerful questions that you can ask yourself right now to help you break the destructive and self-limiting cycle of indecision.
1. How much do I want this thing?
Be honest with yourself about whether you’re truly passionate about achieving this goal or not. There’s a difference between if you’re interested and if you're committed. If you’re committed then you will do the work needed to get to where you want to be, if you’re just interested, you will not.
If you're not truly passionate and committed- let it go. Life is too short to spend it pursuing things you're not deeply passionate about. Find an alternative goal that is more compelling for you. You deserve a goal that lights you up and you will stop at nothing to achieve it.
If reading that and the thought of quitting on this thing hurt, good! That means you care so move to question 2.
2. What’s stopping me from starting?
Get honest with yourself about the real reason you’re not making that decision. It’s NOT because you need more time, money, or information (despite what you've been telling yourself). The REAL reason that you're not deciding to take that first step is your fear of failure, it’s time to get super clear about what it is you’re scared of, go on, and write it all down.
3. What do I need to do differently to get a different outcome?
Now the tendency is to rush ahead and do a load of tangible stuff that feels safe this point but believe me when I say you don’t need to knock up another spreadsheet, or order another notebook and matching pen, nor do you need to go down another rabbit hole of googling what other people are doing or to read another self-help book.
It's time to start doing the work on you. To start doing the work that’s needed to step into the version of you that can achieve the success you desire (trust me she IS in there).
Here are just a couple of these things:
Changing your relationship with failure -Successful people know that failure isn’t the opposite of success, it’s a part of it. So, you need to cultivate a growth mindset.
Building lasting inner confidence- You need to be able to show up as your real, authentic self. This starts with the courage to be a beginner.
Looking inside you at your belief system and making sure that you believe that you’ve got what it takes- Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.
Reviewing your habits-They have the power to make or break you.
Do you know how to do those things?
Most people don’t. I certainly didn’t when I started my self-development journey, which is why when I did learn, I wanted to help as many other women as possible to know what to do.
If you would like to discuss how having the expertise, support, encouragement, and accountability of someone qualified and experienced partnering with you, to make a step-by-step plan will help you to move further and faster than going at it alone, I would love to chat about how I could support you through 1:1 coaching.
You can contact me direct: leanne@youfirstcoach.co.uk
If you're not quite ready to chat just yet, no problem, you can grab yourself this completely free self-led confidence-building guide that you can do at your own pace right here.
And remember- that move that you're afraid to make is the one you need to make to succeed!
Speak soon,
Leanne x